I found myself forgetting how to be around those who didn’t agree with me… Does it really have to be this way?
Having cash means having the option to put a dollar in the tip jar at the coffee shop. Or not, because seriously, do you have to tip everyone these days?
I wasn’t ready yet to view my life in terms of possibilities, while Janine had already resigned herself to the conclusion that all of hers had already shriveled up and left her.
#18. According to the American Heart Association, heart disease is bad.
#59. Make enemies jealous.
Alone with my thoughts and no phone calls to return, I realized how unnecessary my busy-ness had been, and vowed to restore simplicity to my life.
Cavemen would have been better artists if they’d had finer writing implements.
My method made it so if I only had five minutes, I could at least make it look like I did ten minutes of work.
Here I was harshly judging a member of my team, not extending him the courtesy I would give to convicted felons.
On a sunny afternoon that smelled of sunscreen and bison dung, he took a step away.
If a food item doesn’t show visible aging or discoloration, start to emit an odor, or support a civilization of tiny sentient beings that erect a statue in my image because they think I’m their god, it’s probably still good enough to eat.
You need to print something right now, and your printer decides to be uncooperative because printers are spiteful, ruthless beings inhabited by the souls of people you’ve wronged in a previous life.
Why didn’t I tell him Halloween costumes are only for Halloween, and you’re only meant to wear them once and then throw them out?
Get other professionals’ takes on which way the winds are blowing, and start thinking about which direction you should set sail if the waters get choppy.
Some are practical goals, and some are pipe dreams.
… that example may be the most valuable thing he’s taught me. I wish I had thanked him for that, too.
Whether we should or should not have a garbage disposal is irrelevant to the fact that we do not have a garbage disposal.
The drive is my time; nobody is going to interrupt my thoughts.
My perspective on the scale of the problem is largely irrelevant. To them, these problems matter.
One traveler is in so much pain she can’t speak, walk, or see.
… they only change the lineup every few years, it shouldn’t be too hard to keep up with.
I could do the exercise I say I don’t have time to do.
If no one can cite a strong answer other than “It’s scheduled” or “It’s Tuesday; we always have meetings on Tuesdays,” it’s time to reconsider the best use of your time.
He may see how LeBron dunks the ball, but he’ll see the way I treat my wife.
… sneaking up behind a gorilla and flicking at its ear causes death — instant, guaranteed, tonight’s-top-story death.