I have a family, whom I love more than anything and wish I could spend all my time with.
I have a job, which is important to me and which I want to perform successfully and enthusiastically.
I have a home, which I want to maintain, improve, and be comfortable in and proud of.
I have two dogs, who want to go on walks and play tug-of-war using their toys and old socks.
I have a body, which needs exercise, sleep, healthful meals, and doctor’s appointments.
I have several bookshelves, with books that pile up faster than I can get to them.
I have multiple creative and professional projects on multiple burners, each in a different state of completion.
I have friends whom I need to call, text, email, and find time to visit, to let them know I still care and haven't forgotten about them, lest they think I’ve forgotten about the times they supported me and my family during our most trying times.
I have causes I believe in, which I’d like to give more of my time and money to.
I have subscriptions to newspapers and magazines, which regularly produce articles that I know would be intellectually stimulating but which go unread anyway because they produce content faster than I can keep up.
If I only had one or two of these things, life would be easy. I’d be able to devote as much time as needed to each, and the results would be incredible. But the fact is, they all contribute to me in some way; they all help make me whole. So what I need to do instead is accept that I will never be satisfied that I’m devoting enough of my energies to any of them.
I knew this when I started this website; some of my ideas and goals that I write about just won’t happen because I only have so much time, energy, and resources. Some are practical goals, some are pipe dreams, and the difference between the two can be traced less to my abilities and drive than to where they land on my priorities list.
And I have to accept this, above all: The man I prefer to be knows that he will never completely be the man he prefers to be.